When Motherhood Feels Like Too Much: Finding Strength in the Overwhelm

I knew motherhood would be hard. Everyone says it’s hard. But no one tells you just how heavy it can feel and how some days, the weight of it presses down so hard that it feels impossible to breathe.

I remember standing in the middle of my kitchen one afternoon, my baby crying in my arms, my toddler whining at my feet. The house was a mess, I hadn’t eaten all day, and I could feel the frustration building in my chest like a ticking time bomb.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to run.

I wanted someone, anyone, to step in and say, I’ve got this. You go take a break.

But no one came.

Because this is motherhood and sometimes that's the reality. And for so many of us, it feels like we have to do it all, hold it all, carry it all, without breaking.

The Invisible Weight of Motherhood

Motherhood isn’t just changing nappies and making meals. It’s not just school drop-offs and cuddles before bed. It’s not even just the physical exhaustion of running on little to no sleep.

It’s the mental load. The constant thinking, planning, worrying.

• Did I pack enough snacks?

• Is she getting sick?

• Did I book that appointment?

• Am I doing this right?

It’s the emotional weight of being the one who holds it all together. The one who absorbs everyone else’s feelings while pushing her own aside.

It’s the guilt, the never-ending guilt.

• Guilt when we snap.

• Guilt when we don’t feel like playing.

• Guilt when we wish for just five minutes alone.

It’s the feeling of losing ourselves in the endless cycle of caring for everyone else while wondering if we even exist outside of this role anymore.

And on the really hard days? It’s the whisper in the back of our minds that wonders… Am I even good at this?

When You Feel Like You’re Drowning

For a long time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I thought maybe I was just weaker than other mums. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this. But then I started talking to other mums, really talking, and I realised: Almost every mother has felt this way at some point.

The truth is, motherhood will break you at times. It will push you beyond what you thought you were capable of. It will exhaust you in ways you never knew existed.

But you are not broken.

And you are not failing.

What I Wish I Knew in My Hardest Moments

I was really struggling with napping my two children: I surrendered to a contact nap and they both fell asleep on me.

Looking back, I wish I could sit down with that version of me, the one who felt like she was drowning and tell her everything I’ve learned since then.

Because when you’re in the thick of it, it’s hard to see the way forward. So if you’re there right now, I want you to hear this:

1. You Don’t Have to Do It All

Somewhere along the way, we were sold this idea that “good mums” do everything. They keep the house spotless, make home-cooked meals, play with their kids all day, and never complain.

But that’s not reality.

Good mums ask for help.

Good mums take breaks.

Good mums don’t do it all, and they sure as hell don’t do it alone.

So if you’re feeling like you’re drowning? Let something go.

The dishes can wait.

The laundry can pile up.

Your kids need you, not a perfect home.

2. You Are Allowed to Have Needs

Somewhere in the chaos of motherhood, amidst the whirlwind of diaper changes, late-night feedings, and the constant demands of little ones, we often forget that we are still human beings with needs of our own. As we navigate the complexities of nurturing and caring for our children, it is all too easy to lose sight of our personal identities, desires, and emotional well-being.

3. Your are enough

To your children, you mean everything, and although this might feel like added pressure, let it motivate you to realise that you are indeed sufficient. Your hard work, fatigue, and concerns reflect your deep care and what a wonderful mother you are. You are enough.

Progressing and Managing Motherhood and Overwhelm

This journey, particularly in the early years filled with uncertainty and confusion about what steps to take, alongside the heavy mental burden and changes to the familiar, can be EXTREMELY CHALLENGING. I am persevering through it, but I could have eased the process so far by learning to rely on others, acknowledging my own value, and letting go of the perfectionist mindset of being the 'perfect mother'. I even regret what that caused me to miss with my babies. The relentless pursuit of perfection often clouded my ability to be fully present, leading to missed moments of joy and connection with my little ones. I realised that in striving for an unattainable ideal, I overlooked the beauty in the chaos and the simple, unfiltered experiences of motherhood.

The Journey of Parenthood

The early years of parenthood can often feel overwhelming, like you're navigating through a maze of uncertainty and new responsibilities. It’s not uncommon to feel isolated in the midst of it all, to feel like it is all too much at times. But remember, you’re not alone in this journey. By recognising that we can’t handle everything by ourselves and allowing others to lend a hand, we can ease some of the pressure.

Embracing the beautiful messiness of motherhood, along with its chaos and imperfections, can transform this experience into something truly rewarding. It’s often in those unscripted moments that we find genuine joy and connection. So, take a deep breath, and let’s enjoy this adventure together.