Today Was Just One of Those Days. Why Raising Toddlers Can Be Bliss One Moment and Stressful the Next.

Today was one of those days. You know the type: where you wake up exhausted, feeling like you didn't sleep at all. The day began with a toddler's tantrum over toast or cereal (the first of many meltdowns), and it only went downhill from there. Nappies leaked, creating a mess I could have done without. A thirty-dollar jar of Sudocrem was smeared on the walls, with some crayons added for colour and good measure. More food ended up on the floor than in mouths, and nap time? Let's just say that by the time I finally had two sleeping children, the neighbours dog decided to sound the wake-up call.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed on days like this, but I want to remind you, you’re not alone. We all have those tough days when everything seems to go awry. Parenting is a wild ride, full of unpredictable moments, and it’s perfectly normal to have days that leave us feeling frazzled and exhausted.

Embracing the Hard Days

On days when everything seems to go wrong, it can be tempting to spiral into frustration. Today, I found myself in that worked up space where you don't think you'll be able to handle another minute. I find that acknowledging these feelings is the first step to coping. It’s okay to feel tired, to feel like you’re losing control. Accepting that today is a challenging day can help you move through it without the added pressure of trying to make everything perfect.

Here are a few tips to help you get through those tough days:

1. Take a Breath: When things start to feel overwhelming, pause for a moment. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that this moment will pass. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can help centre you. I’ve actually been teaching this technique to my two-year-old for a while now, and it’s adorable how he takes that deep, shaky breath when he’s frustrated. Lately, though, he’s picked up on my own moments of frustration and, in a somewhat warning tone, says, “Mama, take breff.” It’s funny how hard it can be to take advice when you’re in the thick of it, especially from a toddler, but his little reminder often pulls me out of the moment and helps me settle down pretty quickly.

2. Lower Your Expectations: Some days, just getting through the day is enough. If nap time becomes a battle, consider a quiet time instead, where everyone has a moment to relax, even if they’re not asleep. Today, we ended up forgoing the battle of getting groceries and ended up watching a movie instead.

3. Find Joy in the Chaos: I know this one can be hard in the moment, especially if you're like me and crave structure and order. Look for the small moments of joy amid the chaos. Maybe it’s a giggle from your little one or a brief moment of calm. Celebrating these tiny victories can shift your perspective.

4. Lean on Your Village: Don’t hesitate to reach out to fellow mums, whether in person or online. Sharing your struggles can provide comfort and remind you that you’re not alone in this journey. Sometimes, just knowing someone else is having a tough day too can be a relief.

5. Practice Self-Compassion: Remember to be kind to yourself. Parenting is hard work, and it’s okay to have days that don’t go as planned. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d extend to a friend facing a challenging day.

Tomorrow is a New Day

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that hard days are completely normal. If you’re anything like me, once the kids are finally asleep, you might find yourself scrolling through photos of your little ones, wishing for just one more cuddle, even though you were counting down the minutes to bedtime! But tomorrow is a brand new opportunity for a fresh start. Who knows? Nap time might go off without a hitch, or maybe lunch will actually stay on the table for a change!

So, here’s to all the mums out there raising toddlers, facing tough days, you’re doing an amazing job, even when it feels chaotic. Let’s lift each other up and remind ourselves that we’re in this together. On those challenging days, lean into the support around you and know that brighter moments are just around the corner!